Author: Kylie Kell
I never spent too much time examining my conscience until college. When I went to confession, I would normally just try to think of anything I could during the five minutes I waited in line before I entered the confessional. This allowed me to see some of my immoral actions, but it did not allow me to see a pattern of sin in my life or how it was affecting me. I realized that in order to fully examine my conscience, I had to be looking back on how I showed or did not show God’s love throughout the day each and every day.
Each evening before bed, I would think about how I interacted with others, what I thought about during the day and how much time I spent talking to God. I noticed that Tuesdays and Thursdays when I had class with one of my good friends, I would gossip a lot more. On the days when I had a boring history class and sat next to a cute boy my mind would wonder to thoughts that were a little impure.
After several weeks of examining my conscience every night, I noticed that weeks that I had a lot more school work and became stressed, I became more impatient and unloving towards others. I also spent less time reading the Bible and praying. I could start to see habits or patterns emerge when I noticed how often and under what circumstances I committed different sins. I saw the consequences my sins left and the emotional toll they took on me. By examining my conscience every day, I was more aware of how sin controlled my life and thus was able to fight back. I knew when temptation would strike and could put more effort into avoiding it. Instead of sin controlling my life by hiding in the darkness, it was exposed to the light and the light of Christ was able to shine even brighter.